I wasn’t ready for a baby just yet. This wasn’t my plan. I wanted to build a career, stand on my own two feet, fall in love, get married, then have a baby. Like, they say….things don’t always go the way you plan it. The last part of the plan is now coming first and it’s all my fault. I have been thinking of how to manage the pregnancy for a week now. Jamal finding out has not helped at all, he called and dropped by my office every opportunity he got. I loved the man but he’s beginning to choke me. I needed a chance to clear my head.
I scrolled through the vacation packages on wakanow.com looking for an affordable place to go. As much as I would love to get married and have a baby, though I am going to be doing the last one first I needed some time to think. Is this the right thing to do at this time? Am I ready to take this step? “What are you doing?”, Jamal’s voice asked accusingly from the doorway, interrupting my thoughts. I hadn’t realized he had knocked or opened the door. He strolled into the office and I quickly closed my laptop so he would not see what I was looking at. He came around my desk and opened the laptop. He looked and me and back at the vacation offer pages open on my laptop. “Are you planning on running Mimi?” he asked. “No…. I lied”. “So why are looking at travel packages?”. ” I was only looking, I am not planning on going anywhere, they just have really cool packages, I lied again”. “I know all this is was not planned, he said, but I promise I will be with you every step of the way. We could get married if you want, I know I want to marry you, I still do not know why you don’t believe me, I really do….so I would need you not to run away please, stay and we will figure this out okay”. We stared at each other….he bent down and placed a kiss on my forehead and walked away.
What is wrong with you Mimi? I asked myself, every other girl will jump at this. But that is the thing, I am not every other girl. I needed to talk to someone and I needed to talk to someone really fast. I shut down my laptop, picked up my handbag and headed for the door, I was going to talk to Chisom, she was in town briefly to pack up the rest of her stuff after the honeymoon as she was moving to Abuja to join her husband. First I was going to stop quickly for some ice cream and then to Chisom’s apartment in Lekki. As I drove to the supermarket, my mind went back to the travel package I had started booking. Was getting away really the best plan? It wasn’t like I was settling, I really loved this man, but why can’t I just make up my mind?
Chisom was quiet after I told her the whole story, then she just burst into laughter. My surprise turned into a frown as I didn’t get what was funny. “You know as much as you put up a tough front, I can see right through”, she said. The only sound I could get out was “huh!”. “I can see you love Jamal….yes he has always been a ladies man, he’s handsome and has girls throwing themselves at him, but we can all see that he loves you, she continued. “The way he looks at you when you are not watching, he’s always calling Stan to talk about you and he bought you a Ford for Christ’s sake….I think you hit the jackpot babe. Yes, this wasn’t your plan but sometimes, God has a much better plan for us, okay”. “You think so”, I responded. “I know so sweety”, she answered.
As I drove home hours later, I was convinced that this was the way it was supposed to be. Once I got home I was going to call Jamal and tell him I love him and I think we should get married. I felt a sense of relief and then a sharp pain in my stomach that blinded me for a second…I swerved quickly and the next thing I knew my car ran into the street light pole and I blacked out.